Can someone reassure me please?

I am an Indian woman living abroad. I've been living abroad for nearly 4 years now. I come from a pretty orthodox family. Before I left India, I came to terms with my reality that I'm definitely going to get an arranged marriage. I have seen a lot of intercaste marriages in my family and I have seen how hard it is. I have also seen women in my family who do not want to get married and they have gone through difficulties as well. I'm not a very rebellious person so I decided to come to terms with the reality that I have to get married and it would be arranged.

When I moved I purposely avoided men from other cultures due to this reason. For 3 years nothing happened and everything was fine. My family even started the process of arranged marriage and it has been a year. I didn't find any I liked a lot and I asked my family to pause it for a while and told I'd like to do some traveling before restarting.

When I went to Europe I met an American and I liked him a lot. We became friends, took another trip and realized I really really like him. He is a very unconventional person, doesn't want to get married or have children. I didn't really think much was gonna happen anyways since I'm from a completely different background. But lately I've been liking him a lot and feeling jealous a lot. He values me greatly but only looks at me as a friend (long story don't wanna elaborate). He also wants to meet up with me again which is going to happen but I have been so conflicted. It hurts so bad when he talks to me about other women he likes.

Sometimes I get these philosophical questions in my mind. I wonder why is all this happening to me. I didn't want it. I knew my reality. I was fine with it. Why is life tormenting me? Why do I like a guy I don't even have a chance with? Why doesn't he like me back? Why couldn't have life thrown some guy that I could get along with? Did anyone else experience something similar or felt something similar?