Broken home

Growing up I was abused by my sister physically and emotionally all the time. She’s about 10 years older than me. It was child abuse. She’s the Tom boy type of girl so she was pretty strong lol. She would beat me up and tell me I can’t watch tv shows and to go to my room. I’ve always been isolated. My father has been an alcoholic my whole life. My mother had mental health issues her whole life. There was fighting in the house basically everyday. My cousins bullied me, my peers at school bullied me and some of my teachers were even mean to me.

However I was a bright/ honour roll student and expected to do big things in life. Fast forward to my 20s now and I haven’t done anything. My mom recently killed herself by hanging herself and I found her in the morning myself. My dad continued to drink for 3 years nonstop and call me horrible things when he drank. My sister tried to take money from me as well during this time because she knew I inherited some from my mother. Nobody reached out or helped me during these tough times. I’m now on disability as they say I have psychosis or schizophrenia. I’m on an injection every month. Am I cooked? Am I a failure? How do I get out of a situation like this? I have no social skills and can’t network really. I feel like I was set up for failure idk. I don’t want to have the victims mentality as I still hit the gym and take care of myself but idk. I feel like it would take a miracle.

Lastly my dad stopped drinking now and I had to take care of him as he fell sick. We are on good terms now as I forgave him for everything because our time on earth is so limited. I feel it was the right thing to do. However, I feel like if he were to pass I’m going to end up homeless or in jail or something. Be honest with your opinion/advice? Is my life over? Do I have a victims mentality or is this actual trauma?