how do i get over resentment

this'll be a bit of a rant/vent but im really looking for advice as to how i can get better. for context i am diagnosed with borderline, narcissism, and autism.

i struggle insanely bad with jealousy, envy, and resentment. it's not like i try to, i just naturally feel this way and no matter how badly i try, it won't go away. if i do not have complete control over a situation, person, etc., i will completely lash out or shut down. i hate it when others that i derive joy from solely find joy in other things like going out, other friends, hobbies, and so on. whenever im being told about how much fun someone i have a close relationship with had while they were doing something without me, i feel like im being suffocated. for an example, when my lover talks about going out in nature and how peaceful it is, i feel such an intense jealousy and hatred because i cannot fathom that he could find life outside of me enjoyable. if im not directly involved in someone's happiness, it makes me angry and aggressive.

how on earth do i fix this. ive gotten down managing it to the point where i do not express it outwardly (i used to be very vocal about my emotions), but how do i get rid of the feeling inside that eats away at me? ive never let anyone know this about me. i want to be cured and fixed of this entirely because of how badly its ruined all of my relationships with everyone in my life. ive considered dbt, but im under the impression that all it'll do is help me protect the people around me from my emotions, not completely get rid of the feeling that comes with them that lingers.