Should i just show up and tell my son im his mom ?

If i was your birth mom what would you want me to do ? My son is currently 9 i haven't seen him since he was a baby . I was a victim of trafficking when i got pregnant with my son and have suffered with addiction . my sons dad has had full custody of him since he was a baby , i am sober for two years now and have been messaging with my sons dad to try to see him . His dad tells me i cant see him, but tells me if i date him and prove myself to him maybe i can one day be in my son's life. His dad also just messages me for naked photos when i contact him about my son its very creepy. His dad was paying to sleep with me while i was being trafficked but he said he thought i was just prostitute he didnt realize i was being trafficked. I want to see my son , i want my son to know im thinkng of Him. Cant decide if i should just show up and stand across the street and tell my son im his mom and that i have been trying to see him and that i will be back when he's 18 for him or just wait til hes 18 and show him court proof that i was trafficked and was mentally messed up from that when he was born incase he resents me for not being around.