I’m at my limit with my11y/o AUDHD ODD son

Hey guys, I’m desperate and need some advice. I (30F) am a mom to three beautiful boys. My 11 year old, has been diagnosed with AUDHD since he was little, and recently ODD has been tacked on. For a long time, I struggled with the idea of putting him on meds so young, and wanted to make sure he knew how to regulate and utilize tools in his emotional tool box before I resorted to that. (A dangerous rhetoric, I know now) he has been medicated recently (ritilan twice daily). Now with him entering into his pre-teen years, and the hormones of puberty hitting, we’ve run into some repeat behaviors that at this point can no longer be brushed off as “kids will be kids”. These things have the ability to land him into some REAL trouble. And as much as I don’t want to, I’m about to let them. He’s constantly lying. At home, at school, pretty much anywhere. He’s constantly stealing. Same issue and occurrence as the lying. We aren’t rich by ANY stretch of the imagination. But there’s food in the house, and things for him to play with. We are on Medicaid, but that in itself is a goddamn nightmare trying to find counseling. He receives some services from a clinic in town, and has the appropriate IEP for school. What I need now, is creative punishments that aren’t screaming and beating. I’ve tried positive and negative reinforcement, taking things away, grounding him, talking it out etc. you name it, I’ve tried it. He is currently going to be working off the amount he stole from me, and extra to replace what I have to re buy.

Please just help. I’m at a loss and hate the parent I’ve become.