On Being Asian: Patrick & Anna

Patrick feels very insecure. He feels less attractive and worthy of love because he's asian. Granted, his environment growing up has shaped his views, but he hasn't done the internal work to believe anything different and see the truth: he's handsome. Other people don't determine our beauty; other people reflect what we believe about ourselves.

To me, it seems that he wants a white gf to validate his insecurity. By being with a white woman who loves him, and marrying her, this will prove to himself and other around him (according to his belief of the world) that he's deserving and can be loved. A lot of people marry the wrong people for this reason. They marry people who validate a wounded part of themselves.

Because of this, it was NEVER going to work with Anna because she's asian. She can't give him the white social validation he's looking for.

Anna also has an interesting relationship between whiteness and being asian, which has less to do with her looks (or maybe it does, we don't know, she didn't really open up about it) but rather, it's more to do with her inherent attraction and feelings about herself-- I don't think she would've found Patrick attractive simply because he's asian.

Sad to say, but it would've been a train wreck between the two. They both have a lot of internal work they need to do. Wishing them all the best <3