My ex filed an RO against me

Hi everyone. I will try to summarize as best as possible. I was in an extremely what I thought was soul level relationship with my narc ex for ~14 months (it was perfect to me, I was blind to the coercive control and manipulation because he framed it all under his mental health that he’s working on). 2 weeks into moving in together I found out he was cheating on me nearly daily for the ENTIRETY of our relationship.

I left. When the lies all were coming to light he was physically and emotionally abusive - broke my phone, threw me, pressed his arm into my neck. But what was the most was him threatening to kill himself to me. He continuously would grab a knife to his neck and say he was going to kill himself.

For the last year we have been in this breakup phase. Where he tells me he has capacity to heal his “sex addiction”, go to support group sessions, talk through everything he did to me (because, we never talked about it due to the shame he felt that said was making him want to kill himself). During the last year, on separate occasions he’s ghost me and go MIA. You can read my previous posts for more info on that. I thought this was all sex addiction.

He most recently promised me going to therapy together to talk about all that happened and unpack, continued to tell me I was the love of his life. 1 week later, I find out he filed an RO against me, citing “conversation with her makes me depressed and suicidal”. I showed up to the apartment once after he went MIA after promising to talk, because I wanted clarity and he wasn’t answering anything I was sending (ghosted).

I think it was just the fact that I have been in this emotionally abusive process with him for a year and for him at the end frame me as the one who caused him harm, was a huge shock for me. This whole time I thought he felt shame because of hurting me, and cared about me even in his own messed up way. But after seeing him going to this extreme of framing me as an abuser when truly all I did was love and support him, and express confusion amidst his ghosting… I’m at a loss of words. I never even told him he was a terrible person because I just wanted so badly to have a conversation and understand, I just wanted to validate part of my experience.

His temporary RO was denied. And then he didn’t show up to the hearing so it was dismissed.

I don’t really know what to do anymore.