Dad is stuck with my mentally ill/addict mother. Is there anything I can do?

Hi all,

This might be a unique post but I don’t know what to do. My father is pretty advanced in that he often can’t remember what he just did, can’t remember where he’s going, confused about who people are. However, he’s “there enough” that we cannot become health care proxy. He still voices that he does not want to go to a home and somehow his doctor agrees he isn’t “that bad” yet. So for now, we’re kind of stuck.

My mom is very deep in a prescription pill addiction and some undiagnosed psychosis. She has very intense and disturbing episodes (before anyone says - we have tried multiple times to get her committed. She is very good at manipulating the people who make that decision).

My father WILL NOT come live with me or my siblings, but I can see that living with my mother is extremely distressing to him. He is scared to be around her but is very disoriented and upset when he is NOT around her. I have tried more times than I can count to offer him to come live with me but he down right refuses.

Is there literally anything I can do in this situation or do I just have to keep pressing his doctor to assist getting him to a memory care home? I feel deep down that I know the answer is there is nothing I can do but maybe someone more experienced has some sage advice.