I (20F) broke things off with (48M) but now I regret it—what should I do

When I broke things off, these were the main reasons I gave:

His ex was still very present in his life/home:

Her clothes, toiletries, make up, shoes, lingerie, and other things were still at his place.

I later found out he even paid for her U-Haul to store her stuff while we were together — something I only learned after we broke up.

It made me feel like he hadn't truly moved on and that I was just a placeholder.

I was also hurt, because I directly asked him before, if he was the type to be friends with his ex, and he said no.

While we were together, he did tell me he was still in contact with her because they shared a dog together.

I would understand more if they had a kid together, because you do have to be in communication (some people have even said he might have a child, and I just don’t know!).

He would constantly say we’re exclusive, but if we’re exclusive, why do you still have her stuff?

Trust and safety felt shaky:

He said we were exclusive, but with all the reminders of his ex, I didn't feel secure.

He never showed me his STI test results, and when I asked, he got defensive. He said I never showed him mine, but I told him I am open to showing mine, and I have no problem.

That left me feeling dismissed and unsafe, as he made it seem like my doctor was just telling me that because it's standard practice, and that I didn't really need to get tested. I felt like he was slightly offended, as if I was implying that he was dirty.

Technically yes, he didn’t give me anything — I’ve gotten tested a few more times since we broke up. Words vs. actions didn’t match.

He told me weekends he was free, but weekends just meant hanging at his place, drinking, having sex, and leaving early in the morning.

It felt like a relationship in theory, not in reality. Communication was inconsistent.

He could go a full 24 hours without texting me and often took hours to respond.

Meanwhile, he still made time to hang out with his friends, which made me feel like I wasn't a priority (but he does work a lot).

Sexual and emotional intimacy felt one-sided. I was open about what I liked and what mattered to me, but nothing changed.

The routine stayed the same and mostly catered to him.

I didn't feel emotionally or physically fulfilled:

I wanted more consistency and value. I wasn’t asking him to change who he is. I just wanted to feel more fulfilled.

I would usually come over once a week and we had the same routine which at first I was fine with, but I started feeling a little bit neglected and chased out.

I don’t want to feel wanted only when it’s convenient.

Controlling or just protective/looking out for me?

I ended one friendship with a friend, as he said he felt like she was a bad influence on me and was just jealous of me. (NGL, she did somewhat talk bad about him, and I did tell him about it, which irritated him as she doesn’t know him, and has never even met him. Don’t worry, we are back to being friends.) Some of my friends noticed that he had slight controlling issues that weren’t outright, and maybe that’s why I didn’t notice them.

Anytime he did text me, especially at night, he wanted to know what I was doing and where I was at.

We do have an age gap. Kind of a significant one. And he's had more experience in life.

Slightly insecure / first time I’ve seen him be a little annoyed with me:

He talked about how he needed a haircut, and I jokingly said “yes you do,” but I immediately followed by telling him I was just joking.

In a somewhat harsh and sharp tone he said, “No you weren’t.”

He made little jabs/jokes about it the next day, so I know I kind of annoyed him with that comment. (He REALLY CARES ABOUT HIS APPEARANCE, keeps his body in shape, shaven very clean, look etc.)

I must note that I was told by someone in my life that given that he goes for younger girls, and really cares about his appearance, it’s almost like he’s in denial about the fact that he’s aging.

But here’s where I’m conflicted: He runs a business, and his schedule is extremely demanding. Maybe I overreacted to the silences and the lack of plans, because that could just be his reality.

He did respond the same night I sent the breakup text, but I waited three weeks to reply. By then, he never texted back.

I’ve tried two more times since, and still nothing. I know my silence definitely did hurt him, as his message was somewhat emotionally vulnerable — and trust me, he is not the type to be vulnerable emotionally. He doesn’t like showing it.

We broke up back in August, so it’s been a little over a month since we broke up, so maybe I need to give him space and time.

Looking back, I regret not communicating all of this earlier and more clearly — some of it might have been fixable.

In his response, he did say he wanted to take me to all those places. He’s just been really swamped with work.

He also said he hopes he can reach back out again when things calm down, and that he does genuinely care about me.

When we were together, we never fought once. He was always so sweet and kind to me. He did a lot of things for me.

I have a lot of issues with body dysmorphia and an eating disorder, and he was always so encouraging, and always making sure I knew that I was beautiful, and my body was perfect.

He helped me a lot with a lot of things with life, and I low-key need the help right now.😭 but I know I can’t get it

Now I don’t know what to do. Part of me deeply regrets breaking up with him, because I feel like some of these issues could have been worked through if I had communicated them earlier and more thoroughly. While I did bring up pieces of this during the relationship, I didn’t say everything until this final message — and by then, it felt too late. He hasn’t blocked me, but I don’t think that means much. But at the same time, I do care! Some of my friends are telling me to just give him a call, but I’m scared he might block me if I do that. I just really miss him.

But the other part of me, I think is being very realistic. Number one. This wouldn’t have lasted long-term in anyway, number two. He did make you feel this way. A number three. They’re simply was too big of a generational age, gap an example. I grew up with the boom of technology. He didn’t. And many more things. And also my ambitions in life didn’t really match the ideal type of woman he would want and part of me doesn’t think I actually miss him. I just actually miss being with somebody, so maybe I’m lonely.

I have tried dating again, but the last guy it went absolutely nuclear! I might post a story on that

TL;DR: I (20F) broke up with my ex (48M) because of issues with his ex, trust, intimacy, and communication. Now I regret it because I didn’t communicate everything until the breakup, and he actually responded kindly. But I waited 3 weeks to reply, and now he hasn’t answered my last 3 texts. Should I try to call him, or just accept this is over?