What to do/how to support partner who se drive dropped from stress?
My34F boyfriend 40M and I have had a great sex life. Together 3 years living together 2. He was always super in to me, told me how sexy I am and how it was crazy how even my smell attracted him etc we have sex at least 4 times a week and he made me feel desired. In the last 6 months I noticed him seem less and less horny for me. When we do have sex and he initiates it’s in bed right before bed. He used to get turned on BY me but now it’s more like I’m there so we have sex.
I do a lot of initiating and a lot of bjs and he never turns me down but I can tell he isn’t in to it like before. It’s been on my minds and it’s been worse the last few weeks. He can read me like a book and sensed something was off last night so I was honest. I told him I missed feeling desired and like he wanted ME etc I asked if he was honestly bored etc he told me not at all and apologized. He noticed his sex drive isn’t the same. Life stress is getting to him. He barely jerks off anymore and he just doesn’t want it like he did. He apologized and said it isn’t me at all and just held me for like 10 minutes and kept saying he was sorry. I made sure to tell him I understood and was sorry he was so stressed. He runs his own business and it’s just him and the economy and strikes are messing with stuff. We went away hunting for a weekend and he was the same guy he used to be horny as hell for me and so happy it was great and the second we got home I could see the stress and difference so I believe him. Everytime we are away even for a night he’s himself again.
It’s super discouraging and is hard but I don’t want to make it worse for him. How do I support him and not make it worse. It makes me not want to initiate as much but I don’t want to make him feel bad. Any advice on how to handle this?
Also anyone else experienced this themselves? What was going on in your head and is it a real thing? I believe him but at the same time social media pushes, if he doesn’t want you he’s taking care of it elsewhere. Thank you
Posted Oct 3, 2025, 5:13 PM UTC