I’m a huge misogynist and I can’t stop being that way

I was abused by my mother at a young age. I think that’s why. But I hate women. I don’t want them to succeed or grow as a gender. I don’t think they belong at the top, because they don’t deserve to (because my mom wasn’t good, so I see all females like that).

Please know that I’m trying to stop this thought pattern. It gets in the way of my daily life. I want to see them as good and equal, but I can’t at this point. Hope I can later. Thanks for reading.