Am i rushing things?

I feel strange…i dont even know if this Is the Right subreddit to write this.. In the past few weeks I’ve realized that I really like effeminate boys.. femboys to be precise. I don’t like the muscular, bearded man who dresses as a woman, but I like the boy with delicate, cute features who looks like a girl. I like them very much, both romantically and sexually.

The problem is that in my country they are not socially well-regarded, and right now I feel more attraction to femboys than to women. That doesn’t mean that I only get aroused by that—I still like women—but in recent days I increasingly feel the lack of something.

I would like a relationship with a boy, or even to become a femboy myself. I’m very paranoid and I’m afraid that in the future I won’t have the chance to try such things (im 18 btw, almost 19), or I’m afraid that if I were to find a boyfriend, as we grow older he might stop appealing to me.

It’s all largely caused by my paranoia, but I wanted to share these thoughts.