I wish I wasn't born

I hate it I hate everything atp. I hate myself for scoring less, for disappointing them, for not being the elder sibling they look upto, for not being the good daughter. I hate myself. I hope I died, only if I have courage to do it but alas I hate myself for not having that too.

It's my 2nd drop and I'm tired mentally physically emotionally tired. I wish what they said comes true everyone will be happy then I'm such a burden. I hate it. But he said ki sucide karna hoga to parents ko kuch benefit ho aese karna but vo bhi nhi ho rha mujhse to. I'm such a worthless.