Pulled back after finding out about my in-laws’ relationship with my partner’s ex

So I recently found out that my in-laws are still in close contact with my partner’s ex — they even went out to eat together with her girlfriend.

I’ve always invested a lot in building a good relationship with my in-laws, but after finding this out, I emotionally pulled back. I know I don’t have the right to control who they stay in touch with, but it stung.

My partner has dinner with them every week, and I’ve stopped going. What hurts more is that she never seems to stop and think, “Hey, maybe we should have a date night just for us.” Our week is always packed — newborn, work, endless obligations — and Friday night would be the perfect time to just slow down and connect. But she doesn’t take that initiative.

Yes, I could suggest it… but honestly, I wanted to see if she’d make that move on her own.

And now Father’s Day is coming up. It’s automatically assumed that we’ll spend it with her family, but that’s not the Father’s Day I envisioned. Sure, I have to work in the morning to earn some extra cash, but she could’ve still planned something to celebrate my fatherhood. The only thing planned is going to the playground with our child.

I can’t help but feel lonely and unappreciated. When it was her turn, I planned an entire day — cooked, gave her a massage, did everything I could to make her feel valued as a mother. I just don’t feel like I’m getting that same energy back.