AITA for telling my MIL to stay away from me, my house, and my family?

I (32M) and my wife (33F) have been together for 10 years and recently welcomed our first baby. For a lot of those years, I was a heavy drinker—an alcoholic. It went on for about 6 years and came with all the “fun” that disease brings. Honestly, I’m lucky my wife stuck by me.

Over the last 4 years, I’ve been trying hard to get and stay sober. I almost had a full year in 2022 (with one relapse month), then another 7-month sober stretch. Since then it’s been on and off, but nothing extreme—usually just me drinking and passing out early.

When we found out my wife was pregnant, I stopped drinking immediately. I didn’t touch alcohol the entire pregnancy and stayed sober until about a 2 months after our daughter was born.

My wife had a c-section, and right after the birth we also had to move. I was under extreme stress—handling nearly everything: cooking, cleaning, about 80% of childcare, money management, shopping, and laundry.

Now, here’s where my MIL comes in. She and I have never gotten along. She’s very narcissistic, opinionated, and doesn’t respect me. Before the baby, it was tolerable since we only saw her a couple of times a month. But after our daughter was born, she started showing up 3+ days a week.

She constantly nitpicked everything about our baby—saying something was “wrong” if the baby hiccuped, didn’t poop daily, etc.—and always wanted to push medicine on her (she’s a pharmacy tech but acts like a doctor). Our daughter’s actual doctor said everything was normal. She also criticized the state of our house and gave nonstop unsolicited advice.

Two weeks ago (our baby was 2 months old), I cracked under the stress. I got very drunk one night while my MIL was at our house. I ended up in an argument with my wife and don’t remember much.

The next day, my MIL left quietly—but then sent a massive message to my wife and my own mother. In it, she listed all my past drinking problems from the last 10 years, claimed my wife would end up a single mom, said I’d “end up driving drunk and killing someone,” demanded that I never be left alone with my own daughter, demanded that I not be allowed to drive, and insisted I check into treatment immediately.

She also shared all this with her sister, who then called my wife to pile on with more shaming and “what if” horror scenarios.

The thing is—my MIL only knows the bad side of my drinking. She’s never acknowledged the work I’ve put into sobriety, my efforts for my family, or the fact that I’m back in AA (12 days sober today).

After that, I hit my breaking point. I told my MIL she is no longer welcome around me, my home, or my family. My wife thinks that’s harsh, but I feel what she did was deeply disrespectful—not only toward me, but toward my role as a husband and father. This was the last straw in a long history of conflict with her.

So, AITA for not wanting my MIL in my home or around me anymore?