Scared (TW)

Medications
Diagnosed aspergers + ADHD
Hopelessness
Inability

I don't see in the rules if or not I'm allowed to talk about specific meds, so I'll try to keep things as vague as I can.

Stimulants have not worked. All I felt was a fair bit of body adrenaline, but not anxiety in the mind.
Tried all types and kinds available, up to maximum doses. All under my doctor's guidance, approval, and prescription.

I actually thought I was taking placebo pills, because they do virtually nothing for me one way or the other for my capacity to function. I don't feel anything in this regard. Not activated, not calmed, not focused. The noise is still there and I'm still almost unable to start tasks.

But I fear the non-stimulants won't work either. I fear it so much, that I'm affraid to ask my doctor.
I feel like he'll think of me as someone who just wants meds, even though I know he won't because I went through extensive investigations and analysis sessions with him on multiple times, before there was even any talk about medication.

I'm not looking for advice or help. I just wanted to vent because I'm scared I can only be stuck like this with no hope.
I'm sorry.

(no, I'm not the S thing at all, just sad)