I lied to my friends about why I’m in the hospital

Hi, I’m Asher, and this is my first post on this platform.

I’m in the hospital at the moment because I attempted again. I tried the pills method and now I’m laying on the hospital bed with my iPad, the doctors give me food frequently because they know I haven’t been eating lately. I’ve told my close friend Sunny that I’m in the hospital, but I only told him that I threw up and I thought I was sick, not that I attempted. Sunny told some of my close friends and now I feel bad because Sunny basically lied to them because I lied to Sunny. The only reason I didn’t tell any of my friends I attempted was because I was scared. Not because of them, but because of how I would look and how much pressure it would put on them, and I don’t want that. So I attempted without anyone knowing, and now I feel like shit because of it.

If any of my friends see this, I’m sorry, I tried really hard not to kms again, but it’s hard, it’s really hard, I didn’t want you to feel the need to try and comfort me because I was suicidal, I didn’t want to put such a burden on you.. I don’t know anymore… bleh

I know venting on Reddit is not the best idea, but I don’t have access to discord so that I could tell my friends the truth.. so.. I guess this is the best I can do right now.