Adult friendship breakup hurts!

As an INFJ, I crave deep, meaningful connections. Eight years ago, I met a guy whose sharp wit and brilliant mind sparked endless conversations, from philosophy to humor under starry skies. But his emotional distance and judgmental nature, which I couldn’t accept in a partner, kept romance at bay. Before proposing, he picked a Chinese restaurant he loved without asking if I liked it. I overlooked it, as I often do with small things. His proposal-a blunt text, “Can we be a couple?”- felt cold, more like a need than love. His judgmentalism didn’t align with my values, so I gently declined, hoping to preserve our friendship. After a year of silence, his birthday call rekindled our bond. It felt familiar but different-he was sometimes a reliable friend, other times distant, sending mixed signals. We met some weekends, sharing laughs and stories about his matrimonial journey, and I offered heartfelt advice to support him. But his warmth faded. His replies grew sharp, and when I shared my job stress in tears, he brushed it off, distracted by a call from a matrimonial match (unknown to me at that time). His dismissal hurt, his tone cold and unfamiliar. Two months later, friends told me his marriage was fixed-a secret he kept, despite my support through his mother’s illness, job struggles, and efforts to make his birthday special. I’d rearranged my life to be there for him, yet he hid this milestone, as if our friendship meant nothing. After his marriage, he disappeared, blocking only me, though I was never his ex- just a friend who cared deeply. The betrayal made me wonder: was I only valued for my time and empathy? Was I just a placeholder until he found his match? It shook my trust, but I refused to let it define me. I turned to therapy, a safe space to heal. Though I try to stay practical, my heart still aches. Can I care deeply while protecting my soul? I am no longer that naive person who tried to emotionally support friends with best abilities.