I’m falling apart

22F my life is in shambles. I’ve had a hard upbringing and don’t have a single person who cares about me and that’s not an understatement. It could be because of me, i’m not good at relationships at all. It’s hard for me to connect with people. So ive been alone for awhile. stuck in an abusive relationship. except now he’s kicking me out in exactly one month. I have no money, no job, and no car all thanks to him. Or maybe it’s cuz of me. Who knows. I have nowhere to go. No family, no friends. And the worst part is i don’t care, or rather, i don’t have it in me to even care anymore. I hate being around people, my social anxiety is so bad. I have it in with coworkers at every place ive worked because they all think i’m stuck up when in reality i have to mask just to get through my days. It’s caused a lot of unpleasant memories when it comes to work. With me being unable to cope and have a voice for myself. Not just with co workers but creepy customers. I’m scared. I don’t care what happens to me anymore. I’ve been debating s3lling my b0dy for quick money. I can feel myself going down a dark path and i don’t know how to stop myself. I just don’t care anymore. I’ve been living in hell for 22 years. Being gRaped at just 4 years old was just the beginning. Not ever having a single person to hold and comfort me and actually see me as a human being. Nobody’s ever looked at me and asked if i’m okay. Or sat down and heard my story. I’ve always been people’s rock cuz i care so much only for nobody to be mine. I’ve been used and abused my whole life. and i spend most of my days feeling hateful and sorry for myself. and it’s pathetic. I just don’t care what happens anymore.