When you're the eldest daughter and your parent holds the purse strings...

My parents are generously bankrolling our wedding and initially told me they wouldn’t be super involved. But now, they’re pushing back on almost every decision and it’s draining the joy out of planning.

Some examples: they made us redesign the invitation because they thought ours was cheap, said the proposal photo on our website was “weird,” didn’t want Mexican food at the wedding because “they don’t like it,” and accused me of being “hurtful” when I suggested having my brother on a planning call to help mediate.

For context, my mom has borderline personality disorder and my dad sometimes enables her. They don’t have many friends and live in a small world, so I think their limited perspective is coloring everything. I’m the eldest daughter and a lifelong people pleaser, and I can feel them leaning on that. We have been unable to make ANY PROGRESS because every time we run something by them, they either redirect, push back, or want us to change it. It's making me not want to have a wedding.

What have you found helpful in your situation when this has happened? How do you get past the “eldest daughter people pleasing” moment?