Want to be femboy… but can’t (safely)

I rly wanna be femboy and go out in thigh highs, short shorts, maybe a crop top, with a mask and some eye makeup and look cute, but I live in non-straight hell (very stereotypical small town Oklahoma) and so I can’t rly go out like that without horrible rumors spreading overnight and possibly even violence and discrimination against me, so I’m gonna stay closeted to the public until I go to college. However, parents don’t want me to even experiment with clothing in my room at ALL until I’m done with puberty so they know I’m sure I wanna be a certified silly boy. I understand, but it rly sucks having to full-closet myself. Any tips on things that could supplement wanting to be femme (non publicly?) I’ve already thought of secretly getting thigh-highs at a marching band competition trip while out for dinner/lunch and just wearing them under my pants.