Feeling invisible as a father/husband

So I found out that my in-laws are still in close touch with my partner’s ex, they even went out eating together with her girlfriend. I invested as much as I could in the relationship with them but since knowing this, and knowing I don’t have the right to decide with whom they have contact or not, I pulled back. My partner goes to dinner with them every week, and I don’t go anymore. She never stops to think about having a date night with me. The whole week we have a routine — newborn, job, obligations — and Friday night I would love for her to just stay and have a date night, but she doesn’t make that move. Yes, I could suggest it, but I just wanted to find out if she would by herself.

Then we have Father’s Day soon and it’s selbstverständlich that we go to her family to celebrate it, but that’s not the Father’s Day I wanted. Yes, I have to work in the morning to make some extra cash, but she could prepare a day to celebrate my fatherhood and enjoy. The only activity planned is to go to a playground with our child.

Feeling lonely and not appreciated. When it was her turn I planned a whole day, cooked, massage, other stuff, just to show her how much I appreciate being a mother to our child.