Need help

My sister convinced me to ask for help. Im struggljng very much so with my exs passing. He commited almost 2 years ago and my wounds are still fresh and deep. I dont have anyone physically to talk to and im caring for 3 kids. I feel like im about to have a bad breakdown and im not sure how to help myself. Ive been having psychosis and sometimes i feel like im alseep anx ill wake up and things will be okay. Life feels so empty. I love you.