I felt her presence for the first time and it was terrifying

Every night before bed, I do a nightly prayer where I thank Santisima and the universe for allowing me to live for one more day. I also pray for protection for myself and my loved ones. I do this in my bed with my eyes closed, I don’t say the words out loud, just in my head.

Last night, I was thinking of routines and a way to better integrate her into my daily life, as our relationship is fairly new. I had sat at her altar before and talked to her like a friend when I was going through something but never prayed to her directly. I had the sudden idea to do my bedtime prayer at the foot of her altar instead of alone in my bed like I usually do. So I did just that. I cast a protection circle, I always do whenever I engage in spirit work. I sat before Santisima’s altar, I started doing my praye. Right when I was getting to the part where I asked for protection I had my eyes closed and all of a sudden, I saw in my vision, almost as if burned into the dark, like happens when you stare at an object for long period of time without blinking, I saw reddish lines, overlapping each other within a circle shape, almost like a pentagram only pretend the there was no circle no star just a bunch of lines overlapping, almost creating a star. I opened my eyes and my whole body felt drained and dizzy and suddenly my hands were hot and they felt like prickly and tingly. I got scared and didn’t know what to do, I almost left the circle but I was frozen in fear. So I questioned what I could’ve done wrong because this didn’t feel right, when it occurred to me, that I’m asking the Goddess of death for protection before even giving her an offering, besides her moon water (the bare minimum), or lighting candles for her? I felt so stupid and selfish, especially considering how dangerous this could potentially be. I immediately lit the candles, I sat in silence and thought about my actions, as if I were a child. I apologized to Santisima for barging into her space, asking for things when not only do we not have a close enough relationship for me to go in asking for things but I didn’t bring her an offering or light candles. I felt so idiotic when I thought of my actions. Before Santisima, I used to be a Christian and in that religion it’s normalized to just ask Jesus for whatever it is you want without having a relationship or giving any offerings. I explained this so Santisima and continued apologizing. I sat in silence again and then thanked her for allowing me to sit in her presence and showing me the error of my ways. It was terrifying but it opened my eyes to the power of the spiritual world because while I’ve had other spiritual experiences, none were as powerful as this one. Looking back, it felt like a stern parent scolding me for my lack of manners. The experience was so powerful it left an impression on me, I hesitated to finish my night time prayer in bed and then I tossed and turned all night. I ended up calling into work because of the lack of sleep.

I used to see Santisima like a friend whose shoulder I could cry on about the going ons in my life but after last night, I see her differently. Santisima’s power has me terrified yet at awe.

Has anyone else had experience like this where Santisima scolded you into acting better?