Performative or Performer?

Hello,

I recently moved to a new city, a new school, yet, the same state. What I’ve found since I’ve gotten here is that people think I’m “performative” always asking weird things like if I enjoy labubus or matcha. I won’t lie and pretend like I don’t know what that is, because I am online quite often. However I don’t try and go down that archetype.

One thing I’ve noticed is that performative men feign emotional sensitivity in pursuit of sexual desires. When for me emotional regulation and knowing when to be sensitive were important tools I used to not be so angry as a child and inevitably mellowed me out. Before I came to school I watched a lot of videos about habits you should have, one of those was journaling. I write in my journal every morning and night, setting goals for my day and getting down things I think are important.

Beyond that, I’ve noticed I am kinda a multi-faceted person. I’ve done a lot of things, debate, public speaking, choir, theater and a few odd hobbies here and there. Yet, I have done all these things because at its core I get to make new relationships and hangout with other. I enjoy new experiences, but also relationships and building them.

That being said, I already have a way to act when I meet people. It doesn’t feel “streamlined” per se, but it does feel like I’ve had a conversation just like this. As such, I have a general feeling for how I should act. But now I’m getting called performative.

Then, I began to question my character. So if I question the nature of my character based on other opinions. Then alter myself, is that not the peak of performance? I won’t lie, I genuinely enjoy playing a bit in public, or introducing myself to others and connecting with them. More than I should sometimes! It’s just so interesting hearing others perspectives.

At the end of the day, I’m just lowkey offended people think I only talk and act the way I do to get sex. Because it’s not, I don’t want it to be like that at all. I do like making out or hookups I won’t lie! But i enter things with little to no expectations. So, how do you lovely people of Reddit perceive my situation? Am I being performative or am I a victim of poor timing and the internet favoring a new term?

TLDR: Is the changing myself on behalf of others opinions, the peak of performance?