I can’t sleep because of Wellbutrin, and it is making me feel worse

I (30 m) am depressed. Maybe I’m underselling it because I don’t want people to start questioning me or throwing a pity party about how sad and miserable some random faceless internet stranger is. But the gist is that I dislike and blame myself for every little thing in my life, from the tiniest words I’ve said to even immutable parts of my being, like my appearance or intelligence. I don’t want to go to the therapist because I think the therapist will either just bullshit me about how my life has intrinsic worth and merit, and that I deserve to be happy and loved, or outright tell me that I am objectively a loser who deserves every last bit of his own hatred, misery and solitude. I’m tired of venting to my mother about how miserable I am, because that just makes her cry and wail, my father is an oblivious moron who won’t try to understand or take me seriously, and I’m sure my work colleagues don’t want to hear me whine, so I’m keeping my innermost feelings to myself and some internet strangers who don’t personally know or care about me in the slightest, and will probably just tell me to fuck off with my emotional manipulation at best or off myself at worst. I don’t know what else the universe wants me to do at this point. Too bad just disappearing from everyone’s life would only cause more suffering.

But anyway, I just started taking this godawful medication without having the faintest clue how powerful it was. It kept me stimulated and focused during the first few days I took it, but after I absentmindedly drank my morning coffee and soda, it’s kept me from sleeping well for two straight days. I’m too tired to focus, bike to work, or remember the last few minutes, but my mind is also too awake and active to do anything but ruminate about how shitty my entire life is. Maybe I am being a whiner, but wouldn’t you be a wee bit angry if you couldn’t get a moment of rest and your mind kept going over every single little reason you suck in rapid succession?

When will I turn off and get some good restful sleep? I’ve taken this medication for less than a week to manage my depression and lack of focus, and while I certainly would never scream and curse at my psychiatrist over the phone because she keeps prescribing these meds that only make me feel worse— including one that has literally made me hallucinate— I think I would be somewhat justified in doing so if I went another day without sleep.

I’m sorry if I sound passive-aggressive or whiny, but I genuinely hate everything in my life, and feel like I can’t even take comfort in anyone who matters because I’m tired of spreading pain.