Help a sorry INFJ understand how an ISTP might recover from this awkward hangout
Hey all, I'm an INFJ (21F) so excuse me and please call me out if I'm overthinking this entire situation. But basically, I have an ISTP friend (19M) that I've known for a little over a semester. We aren't really close in that we hardly talk or interact outside of class (he isn't much of a texter), but we see each other once a week, he gives me rides to school (we share two classes), and we have a lot of small talk about stuff in our lives, classes, or interests. Recently we have gotten more comfortable with each other and it's been fun with the teasing and playful banter.
One week while discussing our experiences with "relaxation gummies", I casually mentioned that we should do try them together sometime. I was very surprised when I got home and he texted me, planning out how we would do it. I didn't even know that he was interested in hanging out with me, I always assumed he was just being very polite in his interactions with me, and I was excited that he wanted to do something with me.
Anyways, we planned it out, got down all the details of what we'd do and where we'd go.... long story short, nothing really played out the way either of us expected it to. It was only supposed to be the two of us, but we had to circle back to my house because all the parking lots we thought about staying at were too busy, gates locked, police officers, etc... we ended up in my backyard with an extra person that we hadn't expected, even though he had said over text that he would rather not be around our house to avoid awkwardness. I put on a random movie. It hit him stronger than expected and he only managed to get out the words "this is embarrassing" before basically crashing on our table. I also was hit hard, I guess we must both have low tolerances, because I basically fell asleep in my chair and couldn't really move or say much. There was only one mildly conscious person that made lame comments about the movie every now and then. Some family members poked their heads out, saw us outside, and were kind of confused as to what was going on but didn't question it.
There was not even one laugh the entire night, just regretful silence and everyone questioning their life decisions for an awkward 2 hour time period. After the movie was over, and it had left his system, he kind of gathered up his stuff and said he was ready to go. We walked him out of the house and after a rather sheepish goodbye, he made it home safely.
Anyways... the reason I'm worried is because he was bold enough to make plans with me and I'm worried he might have left mildly embarrassed after everything went so wrong. I feel it was partially my fault for allowing us to circle back to my house instead of letting it just be the two of us because I know he only ever expected it to be the two of us. I'm guessing he only stayed to finish the movie out of politeness (and because he was like, physically debilitated) but I think if it were up to him he probably would have left sooner. I don't want this experience to derail the way our friendship was going, I felt like I was finally starting to understand him more and we were becoming more comfortable around each other. I like him a lot, I find him interesting, I admire a lot of his qualities and I was hoping to be closer to him in the future if he would allow me to.
What can I do when I see him next week in class to smooth this over? Should I suggest we hang out again but this time on his turf (his favorite restaurant or something?) How would you guys as ISTP's feel if you were in this situation, would you move on or avoid me? Any and all thoughts are welcome!
Posted Oct 5, 2025, 3:46 AM UTC