“Witty” Restaurant Menus

I hate going to a new restaurant and their menu is the owner trying to show off their wacky personality. The food items are all called random names like why is the chicken alfredo called “Jimmy’s Favorite”? Who is Jimmy?! What the heck is the Hippie Trio? A band or a baked potato?

I can at least tolerate the weird names for the menu items, but they always have equally confusing descriptions. I want to know what’s in the food but instead the description to the spicy wings is just “try it if you dare 😈”. JUST TELL ME WHATS IN IT!

I used to make menus for local restaurants and cafes and the point of a menu should be a categorized list of the food you offer with a semi detailed description. I don’t want a goofy clip art dragon eating the picture of the burger or overly stylized text that’s impossible to read. I just want to know what you serve here. Please.