The only reason why I stopped myself from drinking to much was because of my alcoholic mother.

I feel horrible over this, that my only source of motivation to not drink to much when I feel like I want to do again-is based on my moms life. In my country we celebrate ending school as a very big moments, the family gathering and the day is one of the biggest moments for a young adult where I live. I was so happy when going home from last school day, to see the decoration that you fill your home before the guest arrive on afternoon. But OF COURSE I came home and realized that my mom was drunk, I was so stupid for thinking that she would skip the drinking for the sake of my well-being, I always believe her. I tried to still be happy, my brother shared me up and my moms friend tried too. In that moment, and many other moments I realized that I can’t end up like her. I just can’t. Its so easy to fall into the unhealthy pattern, one step wrong and you are there. I’m just so similar to her, I hate when I see her in myself, how I will probably end up in the same destructive loop. I wish my motivation came from a healthy source.