Anyone ever halfway wish they were an abuser?

Sometimes I look at the abusers and almost wish I had gone that way instead of the way of a victim.

Abusers are terrible humans, but they often have the power/control. They sometimes are the ones that work their way up the ladder in jobs, because they have no qualms stepping on others.

Being a victim is dehumanizing. It's not fair that some people take their abuse and turn it into power while others just...are abused and beat down, like me.

In reality, I abhor the idea of being an abuser, but it seems there are only two ways to go, abuser or victim.

Being just a healthy human being isn't in the cards for me.