r/Crushes•
silvergardens

How Do I Deal With A Friend Crushing On Me While I Have A Boyfriend?

Advice Needed

this is quite a complicated situation for me, not just because of the obvious problem, but the specific circumstances regarding the entire thing.

me and my boyfriend have been dating for two months now and one month ago, i made a new friend. we attend a program together and while we weren't super close at first, we slowly grew closer over the month we spent together now. we text almost every day and we see each other every day for the program.

now, this new friend has been very nice to me from the start. i'm talking compliments and praise all of the time. i've been like teasing him a bit at first and we had a sort of rivalry for a little bit, but i'm way nicer to him now (other people already tease him, so i feel bad for the guy & wanna be nice). however, i've been slowly noticing his compliments turning more flirty or less platonic. i always change the topic whenever that happens or just pretend like i didn't notice. but i don't really know what else i can do.

i really wanna be this guys friend! especially because i'll be "living with him" (same house, not same appartment) for the rest of the year, away from my friends, family & all that i know. i am very scared of being away from everything i knew up until now and would like to have a friend, so i don't have to feel so alone. and he's the one person i get along with. i don't want to lead him on, but he's kinda like "all that i have" until this year ends. i want to have a person i can confide in, someone i can spend time with and distract me from my homesickness.

i have already told my boyfriend that this friend has been flirting with me, but he hasn't really taken it seriously yet. he told me he doesn't mind and is happy i don't reciprocate the flirting. while i'm overthinking the situation, my boyfriend is relatively unbothered by it (which might be a good thing? at least he's not hurt by it and i don't have to worry about that? idk, trying to think positively for once--)

anyways, how do i deal with this? what do i do? i want to be this guy's friend but not lead him on. but i can't really do anything drastic either that would push him away, as he's kinda my only friend rn.

Posted Oct 6, 2025, 3:32 PM UTC

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