Do you ever have to go to the bathroom really bad but if you go out of your room you’ll get caught in their rage?

My mom is kind of two different people. She is the only parent I have to rely on and I’m not close with any extended family. From the outside people see her as smart and a good mom but when me and my sibling are the only people around she can lash out. She’s never physically hurt either of us. I know she loves us and I know she works hard to support us but she’s a really stressful person to be around. It’s like a ticking time bomb. Often she’ll get so mad and she’ll be yelling, slamming doors, cursing, throwing things around, and saying things about how she does everything and basically telling us she’s at the mercy of everyone else’s bs. I don’t think she actually likes me anymore. She does love me but doesn’t like me. If she wakes up in a bad mood she’ll point out anything I’ve not done or I have done but didn’t do right. Anyway, sometimes when she’s like this if I just hide out somewhere and wait it out it’ll end with me unscathed. It’s hard though when I really need to pee and I know if I leave my room I’ll get heat for anything she’s upset about. It’s hard because I’m just so tired all the time and I’m working as much as I can so I can move out as soon as possible but it’ll probably at least give months before I have enough to leave. I may live in my car because this is such hell. I cry on the drive home because I know I won’t be happy when I’m back in her house. It’s hard because mentally I’ve been getting so much better but every time we get in an argument or she loses her temper I go right back into feeling hopeless and my depression just envelops me. I’m just so tired.