Personal Statement Tone

Hey everybody I have a quick question about how you’re approaching the tone of your personal statements. I wrote mine on an experience I had at work as a sustainable finance analyst. The content I talk about is rather technical and my writing is similarly analytical at times. I had a law school consultant read my draft and her primary concern was that the essay had too much jargon and was too technical. I feel like in many places the technicality mirrors the language of a law environment. For those of you that are discussing complicated subject matter, are you boiling it down entirely and adopting a more casual voice or are you maintaining a somewhat analytical tone? Thanks in advance!