Seeking advice - move up or move on

Background

I [37M] work in hardware product management at a US-based tech company. Our products are fairly niche, only being used by professionals, so our volumes aren’t huge like consumer tech. Still, our products are sold into multiple business verticals and represent revenue in the hundreds of millions. The core PM team is small: four people (including me) reporting to the Director and one person reporting to me. This was my first PM role and I’ve been on the team for 9 years (at the company for 12).

New development

I’ve been offered the position of portfolio lead with two of my now peers reporting to me, for a total of three direct reports, plus an intern starting next year. I’ll hand off my product management responsibilities to serve as the team manager and will own the product roadmap.

Dilemma

The director [36M] and I don’t have a great relationship; there’s mutual respect in terms of our core competencies, but up to now he’s been putting pressure on me to step up as a leader without really allowing me the bandwidth or giving me any real ownership beyond my one direct report, leading to a lot of frustration.

From my perspective, I don’t think he truly appreciates all the work we have to do to take care of our shipping products relative to the resources we have (he came from a product group with fewer products, much lower volumes, and less frequent release cycles). I’ve been made to feel as though I’ve been falling short when the reality is I have to spend most of my time just keeping the golden goose alive.

Besides the lack of support from above, my current direct report [40M] is at best a C-grade PM and not on any kind of upward trajectory. Of course if I want to get rid of him then the pressure on me only further increases, as I have to put him through a performance management process. He’s a good hearted person and I don’t necessarily want him fired, but there are so many days when I wish he would decide on his own to move into another role so he won’t be my problem anymore.

Fortunately, the two other PMs I’d be managing are excellent performers, but then I worry I won’t be able to give them what they need from a manager between my lack of management experience and having an underperformer to worry about.

I could go on about the other challenges we’re facing as our products lag behind the scrappy innovators from China and our leadership is focused on transitioning the go to market model toward recurring revenue, but just at my team level, I don’t really feel like I’m set up for success and the stress and anxiety is seriously impacting my mental health.

Bottom line

I need to make a decision whether to take on the leadership role or go back to being an individual contributor and potentially make a move internally. On the one hand it’s a real opportunity for advancement, with the alternative feeling like a demotion and potential career sewercide, but on the other hand I worry I’ve been in the same team for too long already and wonder if a move isn’t possibly a better option.

Anyway, apologies for the long post. I’m kind of freaking out right now and would appreciate some sage advice. Please be kind is all I ask.

TL;DR - I have to decide whether to move up or move on in my career. I don’t feel like I have great support from above or below to make it a successful transition.