5 years married to my AP 🤷🏻‍♀️

…I guess sometimes it simply works out. We just celebrated our 5 year wedding anniversary on top of a mountain in Colorado.

What started out as a platonic friendship 8 years ago quickly turned into an affair. We both were not looking for any sort of affair. I used to turn guys away letting them know I was married, but there was something different about this one…We simply clicked on a deep level. My previous marriage at the time had zero chemistry. We were roommates. Even on the day I walked down the aisle at my first wedding I had a bad bad feeling.

MY AP and I stopped talking for 8 months bc we had both agreed that what we were doing was wrong. I told myself if he reached back out to me I would block him. Welp when he reached back out to me, my whole entire body felt electrified. We both agreed we would stay as “friends” bc we needed each other , but that didn’t last long…..less then a few months later after we reconnected I took the leap and moved in.

I still feel a lot of guilt for what I did. I used it as a learning tool. But my ex moved on. Now I’m married to my very best friend in the entire world. We laugh together. We explore the world together. We understand each other. We love each other. We feel like 2 teenagers in love. Everyday feels like a holiday with him.

I never would suggest people to get into an affair. I never in my life thought I’d find myself in one. I always hated my father for having an affair on my mother. I hated myself for a long time for what I did….but after 8 years I’m slowly forgiving myself. I’ll never believe in “once a cheater always a cheater.” Contracts are black and white but humans are grey 🙆🏻‍♀️