I (F25) tried IUD and Yaz, both went horribly. Now my boyfriend (M31) refuses to use condoms and I feel stuck

Hey everyone, I’ve been having a really tough time trying to find a birth control method that works for me, and it’s starting to affect my relationship with my partner (M31).

I (25F) decided to try the Skyla IUD. The insertion itself wasn’t terrible, but afterward, when I went to the bathroom to sit on the toilet, I suddenly fainted. I hit my head, got a concussion & bit through some of the skin on my lip. I had severe cramping for days afterward that didn’t improve with pain medication. I also looked five months pregnant due to the bloating. It was one of the worst physical experiences I’ve ever had, and I ended up getting the IUD removed four days after.

After that, I tried the Yaz BC pill, thinking maybe it would be easier on my body. But within a week, I was dealing with severe chest pain, facial flushing, dizziness, rapid heart rate, high blood pressure, nausea, and diarrhea. I had to lay on the floor at Costco to stop myself from fainting. I couldn’t work for two weeks or exercise. It scared me enough that I stopped taking it after a week.

The problem now is that my boyfriend doesn’t want to use condoms due to fears about their effectiveness. He’s said he doesn’t want to have sex if condoms are the only option, which feels very overkill to me. Condoms are extremely effective when used correctly, and at this point, they seem like the safest & most reasonable choice for us.

But the way he talks about it almost makes it sound like he’s repulsed by the idea of potentially getting me pregnant- like the thought of even a tiny risk makes sex not worth it for him. (We own a home together, he plans on proposing soon, and we want a child in the future). I also would not have recommended condoms if I thought I’d get pregnant….

It’s left me feeling frustrated and kind of rejected. I feel like I’m destroying my health to make sex more convenient for him. I don’t want intimacy to disappear from our relationship.

Any advice on how to navigate a partner being this resistant to condoms? Any birth controls that worked for you? (Hormonal or non hormonal)

I’m just feeling really stuck and defeated right now.