Why being a human is this tiring

Due to the toxic enviornment I quitted my university in my home country and came to europe. I have been struggling with the second foreign language but it's lucky that I haven't started hating speaking English as it's not linked to my traumatic experiences (so far). Dealing with bureaucracy and administrations and the evil greedy landlord in a foreign language is exhausting and I am literally spent after so much accidents caused by my new roommates. And now I don't even have a friend that I can vent to. There are ppl I know here but they are just acquintances. But I know its just the consequence that I don't reach out to establish any deep relationships. It's too tiring to interacting with others. And if I tell my parents they'll just blame me for being too shy and introvert. Idk if I have something like autism ADHD or CPTSD as I can't get a diagnosis. I hate that I have to do the exams and the internship in a second foreign language, it makes me feel like being a illiterate stupid ass. When it comes to finding a job I only feel more hopeless. I know I am already lucky as my family is relatively well-off compared with other families in my home country, but I still struggle with my budget to live here. I am too timid to make the first step to try to make money. And our money can become a pile of trash too, anytime if the government wants it. I don't know why am I this fragile and have to procrastinate everything until the very deadline, I guess my tutor is already rolling her eyes back when I finally sent the documents to her. I've been having a headache today and I know I am just overthinking and hurting myself, my premenstrual symptoms obviously a part and my period is just not coming on time. It's the festival of reunion in my country today and yet I don't feel like fate is making it easy for me even for a bit. Maybe my life would be much easier if I were born as a man in my country. I miss my dog and I want to hug it now, and when I think of it I begin to hate the ppl in my country who steal pet dogs from others and sell them to the restaurant. All I wish for is a peaceful life, stable, maybe, but I've lost my might to struggle.
I just want to find somewhere quiet and become a tree or a potato, whatever. But being a tree might be cut down and being a potato might rot or being eaten. Isn't there a way to vanish without any pain? (unfortunately no, I guess)