How do I (18F) deal with the most confusing proposal by a guy (20M) I've ever received?

Hello, Reddit. I'll provide some details about myself for the story to be more coherent.

I was born in Caracas, Venezuela, in an upper-middle class family: nothing flashy or extravagant, my parents could just afford to send me to an elite private school (not that expensive in 2010) and trips overseas. They taught me too appreciate everything I had, because nothing was ever free or to take for granted (they had money, yes, but they both came from dirt poor families and worked their way up). I grew up internalizing this lesson with the later borderline civil war and economic crisis that struck my country haha, and have poured my time and effort studying to build something of my own like they did. I am now overseas, keeping up a half scholarship, still with my parents (costs of living alone are too high, and I take 10 subjects a semester), and running some side hustles on the side (yet they don't generate life changing money, just extra income that's appreciated), and I'm proud of myself and my family. We've lost everything over and over, and yet here we are: strong, rising yet again. I'm still conscious over the cost of stuff even if my parents chose to finance my college years, but hey, I live fairly well.

Now, context about the whole the proposal guy: I downloaded Tinder a while ago, and I wasn't quite liking the experience to be honest. My friend, however, wanted so badly to go out on dates she convinced me to try the "double date" feature one day while we studied. We had a few matches that day, both by ourselves and in the double date tab-thingy, but it was late and we had to go home. We walked together to the bus station, and right as I was about to take out my bus card, two ladies came up to me and tried to steal my wallet. I have some trauma with both armed and unarmed stealing, so it drove my stress chemicals so high it gave me a migraine. I stayed home the next day, and once my migraine was a little less invasive, I checked my phone notifications: hot guy "A" had texted me.

That caught my attention, given that the whole reason I wasn't liking Tinder was that guys in the app would NOT even say hi to save themselves, so I replied and I made a smartass "well acshually" comment about something in his bio. He loved that, oddly enough. We exchanged IGs and I kept making funny smartass comments (nothing offensive, just "did you know..."s), then he noted how I was such a "breath of fresh air" among so many "boring girls in his city", and that he wanted to fly me out to meet him.

If you think the paragraph above escalated too quickly, man, for me it was worse. I thought this man was joking, but I check is IG and it's FULL of stories showing trips, cars, shit like that. He DID have the kind of money to blow on stupid ass plans like that. Honestly, I do not care about luxuries and partners to "sugar" me up (and GOD KNOWS I've dated broke guys myself), but you know... the idea of someone flying me out to meet them was nice. However, I'm latin american, and I am aware of the dangers PassportBrosTM have brought to women in simmilar conditions than mine (young, in school, not rich). I do not have that kind of money, sure, but it's not like you can wave a fan of bills and expect me to be on my knees.

We talked about my doubts regarding a borderline stranger flying me out across the Atlantic and he said "listen, I work hard, I make enough for me to pour in whatever I want and you're worth it". I was like "hell yeah, sure, whatever, good for you buddy! but what if you traffic women? I don't know that!" and he said "I can provide any documentation you need in case you are having cold feet, don't worry". I was still hesitant so I ran my own background check (I'm venezuelan, knowing how to background check someone else is like a basic life necessity), and sure enough, motherfucker wasn't lying. I told him to wait until the semester ended because I had finals coming up, but two days after that I got pretty much ghosted.

Was it because I took too much time to decide if I was hopping on the plane or not? Was I getting played? If I just sent him a message saying "im ready now", would he keep talking to me? Honestly I enjoyed so much talking even before I knew he was rich, I genuinely don't give a shit on how much money others have because 1. I have my own and 2. that's none of my business, but I'm worried that if I keep asking questions like "heyyyy why did you ghost me" I'll seem like a golddigger, or if I just accept to hop on a plane exactly now I'll seem manipulative.

We had so much fun :( we had so much in common. And he is so smart, which I do care about. Thoughts?

Posted Oct 6, 2025, 7:15 PM UTC

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