Worried and scared of my ex husband
Background info:
I (37F) left and divorced my ex husband (54M) 2 years 3 months ago. It's wasn't a clean break. He had a really hard time. When I left he had no job, no money, no car and no friends (We moved to a new area and he never made any friends). I let him live in my studio and I moved to my parents for about 10 months so he could get a job, and apartment he could afford and i got a new car and gave him my car. Over time during our trlationship there were too many issues and i fell out of love with him. During the end of our relationship I fell in love with someone else (or at least an intense crush) I did not cheat physically or emotionally) but it was enough that I did not want to stay married to the ex. When I left I never thought I would end up in a relationship with the man I had a crush on (M44). But 1 month later we both realized we had feelings for eachother and we started one. We are now engaged. Ex found out about him and even though I said nothing happened during our marriage I think he assumes that I cheated and my now fiance stole me away from him.
The first year I had to be in contact (text) with ex husband for divorce and stuff. But once everything was finalized texting was much more limited on my end. I'll politely text him back when he does reach out but I literally write back a couple sentences just saying hi back. He has expressed many times he wants to hang out as friends or talk on the phone and I made it clear that's out of the question. Current fiance is aware I'll politely text back every now and then but I have never been comfortable even with a little bit of communication. Just doesn't sit well with me since I'm in a relationship.
3-4 months ago ex husband started texting me a lot. At first I texted back politely a couple times but he kept asking me to hang out. I reiterated no once again and stopped replying. Eventually ex stopped texting. Past couple weeks ex has started texting me a lot. Again. I politely replied back at first again but once more kept asking me to hang out and I stopped texting back. Yesterday he texted some comment that if I can get away from prince Joffrey (game of thrones reference) and I assume he's referring to my fiance that I should come over to his place and hang out. This text just hasn't sit well with me.
What scares/worries me: Ex knows the general street we live on, not sure about specific house but wouldn't be too hard. We sit on the front porch a lot that faces the street.
Ex is a strong guy and owns a shotgun.
Ex has never once physically harmed me but I've seen a bad temper before and he wanted to beat someone up once.
Ex doesn't seem to be moving on. I don't know if he has any friends in the area or if he's been dating anyone.
Sometime after I left him he started stalking me. He followed me from my workplace to current fiances house. He admitted this to me and I told him he had to stop. My father also told him he can't do that anymore (he has a respect and fear of my dad. And my dad helped him a lot during divorce to help take the burden off of me-mainly just being someone he could talk to.
He recently quit his job (found this out with all the text messages he's been sending me) he's now just playing the stock market (towards end of divorce he inherited a decent amount of money).
My father moved across the country. Ex is aware of this.
So I'm worried he's sitting around with very limited human interaction and overly obsessing. I'm worried that he's seeing my current as a villain.
I'm worried he's stalking me again.
My anxiety is starting to go through the roof. I don't know if this is just my gut telling me something or if its because I tend to be an anxious person.
Is the best way to go about this is to fully stop communicating with him. I want to not text him anymore ive just felt sorry for him. Would blocking him and not texting him back make things worse? And potentially cause him to get really angry. Or will it help him move on. Hes obviously not moving on even after 2 years later.
If i see him stalking me I'll try to file a restraining order but until then not much I can do.
Posted Oct 6, 2025, 7:19 PM UTC