In an almost constant state of disbelief

I don’t know why it’s hitting me a year later? Like what do you mean I won’t see my parents again? I’ll randomly think it’s been awhile since my mom texted me and I should probably text then it hits me. I’ll be watching tv and oh think I should see my parents tomorrow (I literally live in their house now too to make it worse) then go oh yeah. If I mention this to anyone in my circle they don’t understand why I’m like “regressing” instead of getting better too. I hate this so much