I am crushingly lonely

I’m a senior in high school, 17f.

I have a couple close friends, but they don’t go to my school. The friends I do have are miserable. I try to be positive, but how can I when I’m surrounded by negativity. I can’t just escape them, I have no other friends & they’re in my classes.

Everyone around me has a partner. I’ve only ever dated one person, and that ended (amicably) almost a year ago now. The only person who has shown genuine interest in me since left after I gave him what he wanted. I feel soul crushingly alone and unlovable. I feel like no man near me could ever find me attractive because I’m fat. Genuinely all I want is a loving relationship. I’ve been in one before, and it was the most fulfilling thing that I have ever been though. I have so much love to give, more than just for my friends or family. I’m a spiritual person and I’ve meditated and manifested my heart out to try and find my person, but it just isn’t happening and I don’t know what to do.

People often say you’re young, don’t rush it. That’s not what I want to hear. I yearn so deeply for the kind of love I know I deserve.