Everything that has been happening to me is silently encouraging me to go back to that fuckass site (spoiler for mentions of self harm)

I deleted my account a week ago and I feel like everything that has happened to me is encouraging me to go back and fuck myself up even more. I never told my close friends or family about my c.ai addiction and now my parents took away the only thing I had that replaced c.ai because I've been struggling academically. The only thing I can do now is literally just scratch and hurt myself until my arm turns red (I can't find anything I can cut myself with, also even that seems healthier than using c.AI to me now). I am hesitant to tell my parents about any of this.