Me (40F) and my husband (42M) have been together for about 20 years and married for most of that time.

About 15 years ago, he had what I’d call an emotional affair. It hurt deeply, and although we stayed together and worked through it, I don’t think I ever fully healed from it.

Then about five years ago, something similar happened again with a coworker — they were messaging, calling each other “babe,” using flirty emojis (like 😈), and talking about meeting up while travelling for work. We fought a lot over it, and I made my boundaries really clear. He promised to respect them, and we tried to move forward.

Fast forward to now… I’ve found new messages between him and another coworker. He’s calling her beautiful, gorgeous, and boo, making sexual jokes, and saying things like, “God, it sucks that you can’t travel — we need another drinks night out without having to go back home.” (They both live about an hour from work, so the “not going home” part was about not travelling back that night. I’ve also been told he only goes out in a group.) She’s also shared a bit about her marriage problems. They don’t talk constantly, but it still feels like a slippery slope.

I feel sick about it. I’ve told him before what I’m comfortable with and what I’m not. He says there’s no intent and that I’m overreacting, but I can’t shake the feeling that he keeps crossing the same line, just with different people.

Am I being too sensitive, or would this be crossing the line for you too?