My first D-day-

My husband woke me up for sex one morning, 14 years ago (Yes, I’m that dumb). We were in the spooning position. When we were done, I heard his phone make that click sound it makes when you lock it. That was my first D-day. He was watching porn while we were having sex. He used my body to get off to his fantasy. I felt violated and I’ve never gotten over it. Every D-day reminds me of it. I don’t even know how we still have D-days because I know he will never change. I’m just trapped. I was groomed and manipulated into this relationship. I was 22 when we met. He was 43. Now, that I’m almost 40, everything is so clear but here I am, trapped. Three kids. No car. No job. No support. Living the life I thought I wanted. 🤦🏻‍♀️