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I (F22) just graduated recently and I am in the middle of job interviews. My dad passed away in 2022, so now it’s just my mom my oldest brother and his twin sister, both 31 and middle sister (30) and me the youngest.

My family planned a 3-day trip out of town, and before I asked my girlfriend (F24) if she wanted to come I made sure to doublecheck with my family if they wanted to invite her. They said yes, and that she was welcome to join, so I told my girlfriend and she was genuinely happy to be included.

A few weeks later (yesterday, two days before the trip), they suddenly told me there wasn’t a “sleeping spot left” and that my girlfriend couldn’t come anymore. When I expressed my confusion, the real reason came out. They just wanted it to be “only family” which honestly would’ve been fine if they had said that from the start. The problem isn’t that my girlfriend wouldn’t get to go, but the disrespect and dishonesty of uninviting her out of the blue and trying to cover it up as being a genuine mistake.

I told them I wouldn’t be going anymore because it felt wrong. I checked before hand out of respect and instead of owning up to their change of mind, they use a wee excuse that made me and my girlfriend look like an afterthought.

Then things got turned around on me. They started blaming me, saying this all happened because I spent all my time with my girlfriend and never prioritized the family, which couldn’t be further from the truth. I have never once said no to my family because of her. I still live at home and am currently working from my family’s company (8:30-5:30), while waiting for my interviews. My twin siblings also work here, but they clock in at eleven and leave early.

On top of that, I’m always the one driving my mom to appointments, grocery runs, and random outings. My brother still lives at home, but rarely helps. My middle sister moved out after getting married and my mom avoids asking my oldest sister because she’s usually in a bad mood and hard to deal with. So by default, everything falls on me because I’m the “easiest” one.

It’s been this way for years. I’ve bent over backwards for everyone and the one time I said my boundaries I get called childish. My mom said it was just an “honest mistake” but that doesn’t undo how dismissive it felt. It’s not just about this trip. It’s about always being expected to absorb everyone’s mood and still say yes.

To add to this, my brother and his wife are expecting a baby in December which I’m genuinely happy about but it feels like everyone is using that as an excuse for why I should always be the one available, because I am “not married“ and “have fewer responsibilities” but imo that doesn’t mean my time or relationship matter less.

My family says I’m being dramatic and choosing my girlfriend over them when in reality I just didn’t want to go on a trip where someone I loved was disrespected and I was guilt tripped for expecting basic respect.

So, AITA for refusing to go on the trip after they uninvited my girlfriend, even though I have always been the one showing up for my family?

Edit: A few spelling mistakes fixed and some clarifications.