I act like i don’t care but i actually do

I’ve built this image of being the chill, unbothered guy. I joke around, act like nothing gets to me, but deep down i care more than i should. I just don’t wanna look weak. It’s messed up cause pretending not to care doesn’t stop me from getting hurt. It just makes me feel fake. I wish i could be honest about my feelings without feeling embarrassed about it.