Met a wonderful girl but she backed off after our first date. Should I wait or move on?

TL;DR: Met a wonderful girl on Bumble, we connected deeply and had an amazing first date filled with warmth and chemistry. The next day, she told me she can’t continue because she’s still healing from past trauma and doesn’t want to hurt me. We both still miss each other, but she’s asked me not to wait. I’m torn between giving her space or moving on completely. Should I hold on or let go?

Hi everyone,

I (26M) live in Mumbai, though I currently work in another city about 300 km away. I matched with this girl (23F) from Mumbai on Bumble. Her profile instantly caught my attention — she had these mesmerizing eyes and a warmth in her pictures that just drew me in.

We started talking, and at first it was mostly about work — we’re in somewhat similar professions, which helped us connect easily. But soon, our conversations moved beyond formalities. They became playful, flirty, and gradually, deeply personal. We’d talk late into the night, have tea together over video calls, share our insecurities, fears, and past experiences. Somewhere along the way, it felt like we had known each other for years.

I’d send her flowers, a plush toy, even ice cream when she was feeling low. She appreciated these small gestures, and it felt like we were both moving toward something real. We had also spoken about wanting a long-term relationship, so when a weekend came up, I decided to visit Mumbai and we planned to meet.

She was genuinely excited for the date — even asked me what colour crop top she should buy to pair with her saree. On the day we met, she looked absolutely beautiful. We went to a cosy café, laughed a lot, shared glances, a few shy kisses — everything just felt effortless and right. Later, we watched a play together, held hands through it, and ended the night walking down quiet streets, sharing earphones, listening to old Hindi songs, and having bun-maska and chai. Before parting ways, I kissed her on the forehead.

That night, our conversations were full of warmth and affection. Everything felt perfect.
But the next night, she called and told me she didn’t want to continue.

She said she hadn’t healed from her past — her ex had cheated on her, she lost someone close to suicide earlier this year, and she also has a difficult relationship with her father. She said she realized how emotionally invested I already was, and that scared her — because she wasn’t sure if she could reciprocate the same way at this moment, although she said there's a 50% chance she might fall in love, but the other 50% is worrying her. She said her feelings feel burnt out because of her past relationship, and she didn’t want to hurt me later.

While saying all this, she broke down crying and had a panic attack. I stayed with her on call, helped her calm down, and we ended up talking softly again, even affectionately and being romantic. She said she doesn’t believe in God but would still like to visit my favorite temple with me someday. But the next night, she again said she couldn’t continue, though she was crying the entire time. Before ending things, she asked me to send her a voice note saying her name — and that goodbye was one of the hardest moments I’ve had in a while.

It’s been a few days since then. I miss her a lot — and she’s told me she misses me too. But she says I shouldn’t wait for her.

And now, I don’t know what’s the right thing to do. Should I let her go completely and move on? Or should I just be there quietly, giving her space and time to heal, in case she finds her way back?

A part of me wants to write her a letter, or make something special — like a little talking robot toy that could comfort her during panic attacks (I build small tech projects). But I don’t know if that would come across as sweet and genuine or just too much, too soon.

So I wanted to ask — from a woman’s perspective, what do you think I should do? Is it better to step back completely, or stay connected softly from a distance?

Thanks for reading this long post. I just needed some clarity, and I felt the women here would understand this better than anyone else.