I hate 2025

My best friend, the only person that makes me feel cared about and liked is on the other side of the world from me now and it’s been close to a year since I’ve seen him.

I don’t know why I’m so unlikeable, I’m in a theatre class full of other weird kids like me and I still sit alone, I used to have a close friend in there who’s completely ditched me now and ignores me because her other friend joined and I found out I’m just the back up.

I’ve tried talking to people so many times and messaging them online too and I’ve gotten so many “ill sit with you sometime” and “yeah we should talk more” answers yet I can still sit towards the back and cry while nobody notices I stopped going often now, either not showing up or ditching part way through I just get up and go. Nobody even notices when im gone, nobody asks where I’m going or where I’ve been. Not even the teacher notices even when I don’t show up at all he marks me present.

I have a friend group atleast but I don’t even talk to most of them and even the ones I do talk to don’t really care about me. I can show up with fresh cuts on my legs Or show up to break drunk and nobody bats an eye. I don’t really have many other classes either. I quit painting after a 6 month art block I dropped science too all I’m in right now is graphic design and theatre, one of the friends I talk to is in graphic so it’s ok I guess.

The rest of the school day I just sit in the guidance councils office doing absolutely nothing all day, I don’t really know why I even bother to go to school. I convince myself I come to socialise yet I never improve so really what is the point. I want my best friend back