how do i mature

Im 18(f), and I've been told by many many people that I'm immature. i do see in my everyday life how i am immature, and irresponsible. it really bothers me, and i want to change and mature because i want to move out an start a family in the next 2-3 years. i even feel like this is immature, because one of my main problems is caring what others think about my life, or not being able to make a decision without others input.

little bit of background info about me i graduated this past summer. i kinda quit my childhood sport (ive been known to have seasonal depression when not playing the sport). i bought a car (split it with my parents), but i ended up selling the car because it wasn't really something i wanted i just kinda gave in to what my parents wanted for me. ( i give in a lot when people continue to pressure me on things no matter how i feel, because ive been known to be a people pleaser and avoid conflict). i had a two jobs, one full time, and one part-time. i got fired from my part time job for not taking it serious enough, i understood because i noticed i couldn't work as fast as my coworkers an the job itself just wasn't my main priority i focused more on my main job and my relationship. i still work at my full-time job. i have a credit card, and i am currently trying to build credit (i messed up my credit already a little bit because i was being irresponsible, and didn't put in the research to know what i was doing). i noticed i had a spending problem so ive been budgeting myself, and it took a couple weeks but each week i get closer and closer to my budget. i have over 10,000 saved, the only bills i pay are my car insurance, and i live with my parents. i dont have plans on going to college, even though i wish i would to make my parents happy.

i did grow up with everything handed to me, and i really didn't have much responsibility. i was very sheltered an naive on how easy i had it compared to others, and i really was blessed to be allowed to just be a kid an not worry about adult issues. it shows especially when it came to going to get my car tagged and titled, and getting a credit card. i often dont trust myself own understanding or intelligence so i rely on others. i do admit ive put off a lot of things because i easily procrastinate an that leads to stress, and i crack under stress.

relationship wise im very immature, and my partner is genuinely on a higher maturity level then me. i cause most of the problems with lack of communication with expressing my needs, and wants, lying, reading to deep into things, and not respecting their boundaries. i truly am grateful for them because they're always trying to help me mature. we both want the same things with each other in the future, and they're really helping me to move towards my dreams (starting a family young responsibly). its hard right now because i made them my world an i dont really have much besides my family outside of them so i do rely to much on them whether its emotional regulation, reassurance for my confidence, or just general life help. i want to be better for myself, but i really want to treat them better, and not co-depend on them. i always feel bad when not only are they trying to learn themselves how to be an adult they have to teach me. (my parents dont let me do things on my own because they want to "protect" me from messing up so i do go behind there backs to be independent). im always worried about what other people think, and i really let things get to me.

this year ive gone backwards, ive completely forgotten who i am. i dont have much likes or interest anymore because i really dont make time for myself an im constantly worrying about the future, an my relationship. the last month or two started therapy, and I'm not very religious but lately ive been trying to prioritize god. i really want to start a family young in the next couple of years, so im putting a lot of pressure on myself to grow up. every time i feel like im going forward i always mess up, and im known to be clueless an not use common sense. ive also been known to have a victim mentality which i want to take responsibility for. i dont want to be clueless, but i just dont have confidence in myself. im completely open to constructive criticism, pointing out my weaknesses / blind spots. i want to start living life for me, and i want to know what i can do to mature. i dont want to just sit here an do nothing, because i feel like i have an this year has gone to a waste.