Finished the main storyline. I feel hollow

I don't know why I thought this could have a happy-ish ending. I initially chose to get rid of the biochip, but the game made me feel like shit for that choice. I felt that something was deeply wrong the moment Misty called me out for working with Arasaka. What was I supposed to do???? why did Johnny give me shit for it too? was I supposed to just let him take over my consciousness? Ok, I'm a little bitch so I went back and chose to off myself this time. I didn't think they'd actually let me do that, it was shocking and so depressing. I got genuinely attached to V, **my** V.

I cannot describe how uneasy I felt in that facility after the surgery when the scientist woman kept testing me and the news anchor announced that Saburo was back. I really did feel like I ultimately lost, and death would have been a better option. I practically handed the W to Arasaka and in return only bought myself a few months. They got V so bad man. Of course I wasn't about to completely sell my soul to them so I declined Hellman's shitty offer.

I don't even know if I want to keep playing anymore. There are lots of side missions I haven't completed, but knowing how it ends, it just feels pointless. I miss Jackie, Takemura, I'm devastated over Evelyn's death, I even miss the Peralezes. This game hit harder than I thought it would.